Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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