so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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