i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
