xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
