strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
