Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
