That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
