I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Floor bacon is actually really good
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
