He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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