i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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