Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
