i just wanna soil my oats bro
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
