he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
