i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
