No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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