life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i think my mom watched the whole time
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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