4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Gay?
German.
Pity.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
