Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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