I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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