I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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