ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
