How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
