dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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