You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
