wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
