bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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