I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
