That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize