I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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