That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
