White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
