"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dignity is for republicans.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
