are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
