Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
