She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
