There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
