We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
