Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
