This is not my ceiling
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
