As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
