there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
