I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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