He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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