how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
