Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
