Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
