Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
