I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
