Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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