went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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