So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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