I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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