I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
