I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
