How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
