Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
