I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
