this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
