i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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