it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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