wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
